Why Cant I cope With the World

I have been wondering why I find it so hard to deal with life.  I know that we are to go to Jesus and we can always count on him but what's with the hard life streak that doesnt seem to be getting better??  I have my kids everyday that I love so much and don't knoww what I would do without them.  Sometimes I feel like I should drop them off somewhere and walk away ( I could never do that) I am so tired of the fighting and yelling and arguing, on top of all that we are so broke and me and joe arent that great!  Whats happening to our life why is everything falling apart?  I know that I have responsibility in all this but sometimes I sit and think that if I wasnt here I wouldnt have to deal wiht things,  I could just go to sleep and never wake up again, my kids would be ok they would be cared for, joe would be ok he could move on.  I almost hate this life and this world, I dont want to be here anymore.  Why is that?  I have (for the most part) great kids, a hubby (who even though we have issues) loves me, so why do I not care anymore? Why do I want to just leave everything behind? Where is God in the middle of all this? Am I not praying or reading enough? Am I just not listening?  I called the doc to start taking my looney pills again, after all I think I need them! Genevieve is crying right now, why wont it stop, why do the kids feel like they need to cry and whine so much? I cant take it! I hate it, I want it to stop!!!! I want the world to stop needing me for things.  You know what else I noticed, my so called friends from the church, yeah they are your friends when you have something to offer or are doing good but when your really down or have nothing to give they stop talking to you! What's up with that?  I get tired of people asking hows things going and you mentiona few things and they never ask you again or even if they can help or if you need something.  Hypocrisy I cant stand it!  Bearing one anothers burdens is what we are supposed to do as christians, where is that happening because I sure dont see it!  Everyone is so selfish, people dont really care and if they do then they are to caught up in their own lives and selfs to help anyone or even get close enough to care!